Posted by: edhensley | May 16, 2009

David Buys a Wife with 200 Penis Parts


1 Samuel 18: 20 Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased. 21 “I will give her to him,” he thought, “so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” So Saul said to David, “Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law.”
22 Then Saul ordered his attendants: “Speak to David privately and say, ‘Look, the king is pleased with you, and his attendants all like you; now become his son-in-law.’ ”
23 They repeated these words to David. But David said, “Do you think it is a small matter to become the king’s son-in-law? I’m only a poor man and little known.”
24 When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, 25 Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’ ” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.
26 When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, 27 David and his men went out and killed two hundred Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.
28 When Saul realized that the LORD was with David and that his daughter Michal loved David, 29 Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days.
30 The Philistine commanders continued to go out to battle, and as often as they did, David met with more success than the rest of Saul’s officers, and his name became well known.

This story is both violent and stupid. Once again, the Old Testament views non Jews as subhuman, much in the same way that Adolph Hitler viewed the Jews as subhuman thousands of years later. In this story, the lives of Philistines are of so little value that the King of Israel (Saul) requests that David murder 100 of them and chop off a part of their penis. David goes even further and kills 200 Philistines and presents 200 foreskins to obtain his wife. This is an evil, immoral, and nauseating act.

In the New Testament (Acts 13:22) , Paul claims that God states, ‘I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’ I find it strange that Christians can believe that a man who, according to God, is a man after God’s own heart, would have no trouble killing 200 men (100 more than was needed) and removing part of their penises in order to buy a wife. The God that Christians believe in is very strange.

As many of you know, I got married last week. I promise you that I did not kill any man and chop off any penis parts in order to get married.

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Responses

  1. Not only that, but David was not pleased to become Saul’s son-in-law *until* this terrible act was required. That’s simply insane.

  2. Makes one wonder if they had gay porn back in Israel to accompany all the penis gifts for weddings shoppe.

    • @mP—-we have not all of the bible to understand that asking—we lack so much info==and the preacher and techer s do not teach us properly like we should be– compare to what God taught and the disiciples –we could go to a teacher and ask for a healing–death to life–exorcised ??? any of these famouslmpw how today>>>> NOPE..but they sure do know $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

  3. Context man, read the context. David had the “heart of God” in that he would follow what God wanted, but nevertheless he was human and to err is common. But the right context and u find those days cruelty was the order of the day, to survive then as a people u couldnt play holy joe! Its all in the context man. 🙂

    • In what context would it be alright for me to kill 200 men and chop off part of their penises in order to buy a wife?

      • 900BC international system-thats the context. worse things than this would happen back then, this is nothing compared to others at that time. 21st century?? I agree it looks horrible, bad, distasteful…it cannot be condoned in these modern times. Ciao

  4. So this was a common practice back then? I think not. If it were, why would we want to follow any of the beliefs of a people so savage they found this practice acceptable? The heroes of the OT are vile butchers.

    • @Vic—-we would tend to valuate that –but that is not the real story—- sin was rampant and terrible –it was the destroying of the sin and the amount of it–and the horrible ways it was hurting the people… they didn’t teach us all properly about the bible.. shame–and as God will say—DEPART –I NEVER KNEW YOU–

  5. “vile butchers” due to the times they were living in. I mean, take a look even at the Dark Ages, or even the Classical Antiquities, you’ll struggle to find honorable kings and warriors – barbarism was deeply entrenched in their culture. However, read the NT and you no longer find such stories.

    • ok, does this mean that during the 1940’s it was ok to burn a few people, maybe not millions, but it was ok to do a few because that’s what was happening in Germany at the time? Does this make something like murder acceptable? I think not. If you think that way, then you will become brainwashed to be just like anyone else, and when authority is entered into the picture, people can do horrible things simply because they believe they are not responsible, they can believe its just the way things are, its not my fault, I am just doing what I am told…. And BAM millions are murdered horribly.

  6. It was Saul, not God that desired 100 foreskins of the Philistines and it was neither God that made David go out to do it to gain a wife.
    Later on, David paid a terrible price the rest of his life because of his failure to resist and subdue his sensual desires in re: of Bethseba.
    Yes, David did have a heart after God’s own heart, the scriptures are correct. and he did he repent after his evil sin and David took God’s chastening in humbleness but we will reap what we sow and David ‘s terrible sin had consequences because as God had told him the sword never left his house till the end of his days.

    • Yet you believe your god created foreskins in the first place but then demanded they be removed from all Jewish babies. The whole idea of god demanding the skin of a penis being removed is ridiculous.

  7. Many people assume that the God of the Bible treated all “non-Israelite” people as worthless sub-humans throughout the Old Testament. This is not accurate.

    The sanctioned very violent acts alluded to in this blog were limited to war-time actions against specific nations during a certain era of Biblical history. Now, that doesn’t mean that they are easily reconciled with 21st Century sensibilities. But – it does mean that – in order for us to seriously accept (or reject) them, we should first attempt to understand the Biblical framework within which these events reside.

    The background setting the stage for 1 Samuel:
    Way back in Genesis 15, Yahweh tells Abraham that he will end up leaving the land God promised to give to his (Abraham’s) descendants. God tells Abraham’s that his family line would reside in Egypt for four centuries. Much of that time would be spent in slavery to the Egyptians. One of the reasons God gives for this is that the iniquity of the people currently occupying the “promised land” had not yet reached its full measure. The depiction here is one of God waiting a long time while the people groups in the land of Canaan continued in violent wickedness, even to the point of sacrificing their own children on altars to their idols. The Bible presents this as justification for the judgment of God that would follow.

    The context of 1 Samuel:
    Thus, by the time the events of the books of Exodus, followed by Judges and First Samuel unfold (which is the timeframe of the Philistine battles cited by this blog), it was in the context of explicit and exceptional judgment upon the nations of this region after over four-hundred years of wickedness. More specifically, the Philistines had proposed a battle of “champions”. If Israel’s “champion” defeated their 9-foot-tall “champion” (named Goliath) in battle, they would subject themselves to Israeli rule – no longer fighting against them. Yet, after David defeated Goliath, they did not honor this agreement. They remained military rivals of Israel. Finally, the Biblical account depicts the Philistines as having superior weaponry and a much larger number of warriors. So David’s battles to win the hand of Saul’s daughter in marriage are presented as acts of bravery in an ongoing war against a hostile and well-armed enemy.

    For the record, mainstream fundamentalist Christians believe that God – in the New Testament era – does NOT currently issue edicts for his people to destroy entire populations of cities or countries (men, women and children). But mainstream fundamentalist Christians do believe that God did issue such edicts against the residents of the land of Canaan at this point in the Old Testament era.

    I’d also like to mention that Old Testament law actually commanded Israel to deal with resident aliens within their borders more generously and graciously than many of the surrounding cultures at that time.

    I do understand there is plenty of room for genuine and sincere questions about all of this… I hope that helps provide

    • It is so sad that your religious beliefs lead you to justifying genocides.

  8. I do understand there is plenty of room for genuine and sincere questions about all of this… I hope my comments helped provide some insight into a pro-Christian perspective.

    • It is so sad that your religious beliefs lead you to justify genocide.


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