Posted by: edhensley | April 14, 2012

Fat King’s Bowels Discharge After Sword Plunged In His Belly


Judges 3

New International Version (NIV)

12 Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD, and because they did this evil the LORD gave Eglon king of Moab power over Israel. 13 Getting the Ammonites and Amalekites to join him, Eglon came and attacked Israel, and they took possession of the City of Palms.[Jericho]14The Israelites were subject to Eglon king of Moab for eighteen years.

 15 Again the Israelites cried out to the LORD, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab. 16 Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a cubit [18 inches] long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing. 17 He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man. 18 After Ehud had presented the tribute, he sent on their way those who had carried it. 19But on reaching the stone images near Gilgal he himself went back to Eglon and said, “Your Majesty, I have a secret message for you.”

Ehud cannot pull his sword from Eglon.

Ehud cannot pull his sword from Eglon.

   The king said to his attendants, “Leave us!” And they all left.

 20 Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his palace and said, “I have a message from God for you.” As the king rose from his seat, 21 Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king’s belly. 22 Even the handle sank in after the blade, and his bowels discharged. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. 23 Then Ehud went out to the porch; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them.

Eglon's bowels discharge.

Eglon's bowels discharge.

 24 After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, “He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the palace.” 25They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead.

 26 While they waited, Ehud got away. He passed by the stone images and escaped to Seirah. 27When he arrived there, he blew a trumpet in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites went down with him from the hills, with him leading them.

 28“Follow me,” he ordered, “for the LORD has given Moab, your enemy, into your hands.” So they followed him down and took possession of the fords of the

Israelits kill 10,000 Moabites.

Israelites kill 10,000 Moabites.

Jordan that led to Moab; they allowed no one to cross over. 29 At that time they struck down about ten thousand Moabites, all vigorous and strong; not one escaped. 30That day Moab was made subject to Israel, and the land had peace for eighty years.

Shamgar

 31 After Ehud came Shamgar son of Anath, who struck down six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad. He too saved Israel.

I do not remember hearing this story in Sunday School, probably because of the level of gore. Once again, the Israelites were bad, so Yahweh let some other country rule them for a while (Moab led by Eglon). When the Israelites call on Yahweh, he gets a man to kill the enemies and free the Israelites.

This story is unique in that Eglon is so fat that Ehud’s sword is swallowed by the fat and can not be pulled out. It also includes the wonderful image of Eglon’s bowels discharging. This is another example of Yahweh getting men to do his killing for him. Sometimes he just kills evil people (Onan and Er), but most of the time he orders men to do his killing for him. Yahweh follows the killing of Eglon with the killing of 10,000 Moabites and later 600 Philistines.

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Responses

  1. I think god is saying he hates fat obese people. From what I can tell he condones stabbing obese people from a different race. This scripture makes it especially dangerous if you like hamburgers, because if heart disease dorsnt get you, you can be sure a messenger of God just might.

  2. According to the bible Story book the Story book narcisisstic & hypocrytical god loves ‘ fat ‘ –

    And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering. (Gen. 4:4) KJV Story book

    Also regarding its hypocrisy, what happened to – Not rendering evil for evil , or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing (1 Pet. 3:9) KJV Story book

  3. Nice lego art :)

    Naturally, the details of the story are not intended as hate speech toward the overweight–considering that you are talking about deuteronomistic history, this passage likely was passed down orally over the years, and the fact that the king was chubby just made the story more memorable to the teller of the tale.

    I don’t understand the seeming hatred toward Christianity that this blog perpetuates. Perhaps someone can explain it to me. We’re talking about a story that is probably over 3,000 years old, about how a plucky Israelite saved his people from foreign oppression through stealth and subterfuge. The subsequent battle was bloody, but not unusual for the time–bloody battles have been waged since mankind began. Does the fact that the story makes you squeemish make it untrue? Or is it the fact that the omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent God of the old testament demanded monotheistic worship? Presupposing that God meets those requirements, is it unjustifiable for God to expect this?

    Not trying to be difficult, just trying to understand if this is a place I can frequent or if belief in the God of the Bible precludes me from the club.

    • I became an atheist after reading the bible. This blog is dedicated to the truth. You are welcome to comment here, but it seems to me that you are afraid of anything that contradicts your dogma. If that is the case, then there are many other blogs out there that welcome those who believe in dogma.

      • I believe in credal Christianity, but I’m not bashful about the Bible being a “rough” book. It is about killing, raping, and pillaging. Not one of the fathers of Israel did the right things. Neither did the apostles. I embrace the Bible as it stands, because I believe that life isn’t simple–so why should the Bible be? There are hard questions to be answered.

        What I won’t abide is the mocking of my faith for the sake of mocking my faith. I believe in allowing people to believe as they will. That is what 1 Peter teaches, after all. :)

      • Unfortunately, most Christians mock those of other faiths, and those of no faith at all. Numerous Christians have pointed out Psalm 14:1 to me. This verse (calling all atheists fools) is considered mocking.

      • why did you repudiate the bible after reading about these

        barbarities..? Christ also repudiated the old testament….

        He paid for it with his life

      • Jesus was allegedly killed for claiming to be god, the son of god, and king of the Jews. The Romans mocked him when they put a purple robe on him and gave him a crown of thorns. He was not killed because of his theological beliefs on the Old Testament. His words in Matthew 5:17-20 do not make it sound like he repudiated the Old Testament.

  4. @TStrauss

    Its not fair to label someone as mocking, when they are simply telling the truth. If modern xianity supposedly teaches be honest and truthful then it should condemn its own heroes and god himself for never doing a kind thing in the Bible. I challenge any xian to show me where King David did a single good dead. Lets not forget how he accused 40 or so blind people of plotting to attack his city and had them killed. It would NOT be so sad if it was not true.

  5. Ed Hensley,

    You appear to want ‘ five bob each way? ‘

    Could you please try to explain just what you do believe about the 100% man made Story book bible?

    Thanks

    • I believe the bible was written by men of the bronze age. The tales of supernatural beings and events are pure fantasy.

      • Unless profanities etc. are Posted I maintain ‘ moderation ‘ is a dirty method by which the Moderator decides what opinions are expressed and from my experience those that disagree with the moderator do not get posted so the moderator can claim victory for their position which of course is a lie!

        I agree the bible is a 100% man made book expressing the opinions of a Cult mentality of early priests that concocted it to maintain their position of authority over the common folk!

        Do you actually have any evidence supporting your opinion?

      • I remove profanities and I remove super long posts. If you abide by what is in my “about” page, nothing will be removed.

        The numerous internal contradictions of the bible and the external contradictions with evidence from science, history, and archaeology are evidence enough that it is not the word of any supernatural being. You could also read The Evolution of God by Robert Wright and many other books by bible scholars, historians, and archaeologists.

      • Re: Evolution of God by Robert Wright and many other books by bible scholars, historians, and archaeologists.

        I agree ALL acclaimed ‘ holy-texts ‘ are 100% man concocted but why do you think that religions such as christianity refuse to heed these books such as ‘ The Evolution of God ‘ by scholars, historians and archeologists IF there argument and details are valid?

      • If you were born in Utah, USA, you would probably be a Mormon. If you were born in Mexico City, you would probably be Catholic. If you were born in Syria, you would probably be Muslim. If you were born in Texas, you would probably be a protestant Christian. If born in India, a Hindu, etc.

        After birth, parents start brainwashing children with the religious views of the parents. They do this for years before the children have a chance of questioning the people who feed and love them. The children trust their parents more than they trust some unknown academic. It takes a lot to overcome years of brainwashing. So religions cling to their dogma rather than investigate.

      • I read the ‘ About ‘ page and it must be nice for you to have your own Rules and you decide whether others conform to it or not at your discretion, LOL!

        Do you have a Statement of Faith or the like or else a cclear rundown of what your beliefs are?

        I do agree ALL acclaimed holy-texts are 100% man concocted and the christian jesus a historical myth!

    • Let the bible speak for itself. It has several books worth devote to religious customs, priests beards, clothes, and other customs and absolutely nothing to defend or protect the weak like slaves, violence and other cruelties against women, rape of children or virgins. If you don’t believe me examine the 613 mitzvot or laws as compiled by rabbis and commented for centuries. Understand the shear bias of issues addressed and characters and who benefits, its easy to see the authors ththee priests benefit most from the messages and stories and care little about the other communities like the ones i mmentioned.

      • The bible is the same as ALL acclaimed ‘ holy-texts ‘ i.e. the ramblings of a few corrupt people making their preferred Story books and its Story book mythical character like jesus, paul & moses say and do whatever those same 100% human authors wanted them to say and do!

  6. Is this Forum Moderated before Posts appear?

    • Yes

      • As I see homosexual ass_hole punchers like you only permit incestuous Posts that agree with your Cult to pass for presentation!

        Never mind I successfully bust Cults like yours at other Forums!

  7. Moderation is dishonest other than removing profanities!

    Do you actually have any evidence for your opinion?

    • Australiancomposer.. I am baffled by your negative posts toward Ed, when you apparently agree with him! Ed does not censor those who disagree with him, nor does he claim to do anything here other than point out bible verses that contradict one another and/or show the Judeo/Christian God to be anything but the, “loving,” benevelent being that most within those religions claim. Just read all of the posts that disagree with Ed, then read his well-explained replies.

  8. I’m an atheist, but I can see you really do not understand what you’re talking about. I’ve studied most every large religion in the world, and reading the scriptures of the religions in their original language is important. The stupidest religion in my opinion is Scientology (when I discovered Xenu, I honestly laughed for 20 minutes straight and gave myself an asthma attack). But if I had to choose any religion that has any possibility of being correct, I would choose Christianity. The only reason I’m still atheist is because I simply don’t want to be held accountable for the actions of my life. I don’t mind when people make fun of religions or atheists, but it annoys me when people write about things they don’t fully understand. I think that is the case here, though I do appreciate your attempts at exposing the more hidden verses. Haven’t read all your posts, but if it hasn’t been done, write about Ezekial 23:20 :)

    • I have covered Ezekial 23:20.

      Your reason for being an atheist (not wanting to be held accountable) is not valid. I have never met any atheist that feels that way. Most find there is not any evidence for the claims of theists, as Thomas Edison did here http://sundaymagazine.org/2010/10/no-immortality-of-the-soul-says-thomas-a-edison/ and here http://www.atheists.org/content/thomas-alva-edison-1911-columbian-interview.

      If I were to find scientific evidence that a god exists, I would be a deist. The bible is clearly a product of men and filled with many falsehoods.

      • Have you studied microbiology? The simple fact of the extremely complicated nature of life would be enough proof for most people. Our body is more complicated than a computer, yet no intelligent person would claim a computer to have developed itself over an infinite amount of time through evolution, right? That’s what I have never understood about ‘intelligent’ people who believe in evolution. They find microscopic machinery within our cellular makeup, delicate and sophisticated designs in such a small scale, yet say that it came into existance through evolution. And we’re supposed to believe such things exist by chance? You say that you would become a deist if evidence presented itself. What if that evidence is only observable after death? ;) I look down on those that believe our complicated biological structure came about through mutations and a hypothetically infinite timespan. To believe that the universe evolved into the endlessly complicated existence it is today, is just denial in my opinion. That’s why I openly admit that I deny the existence of a god, even though evidence does exist that someone or thing designed us. So what if there are some inconsistencies in the Bible? It was written by man, that’s not disputed. If you had to recount tales you heard, I’m betting you wouldn’t get every single detail absolutely and infallibly correct. What intriques me is that the Bible and its stories/chapters came from different parts of the world (the world of that time), yet it all still fits together as though it was all written at the same location and the same time. Nothing in Science contradicts the bible, and in fact, Science supports the bible, albeit the terminology in the book is quite obscure and outdated. I’m not understanding why people can think there is no God, other than being afraid of something they can’t understand. What if God (or the deities) are 4th dimensional creatures, or even higher dimensional creatures? We exist in the 3rd dimension, and logically, we would not be able to observe creatures naturally in upper dimensions. I’m done ranting, but there’s always going to be things we as a species can never observe nor understand. What if these such things are in fact the deities of whose existence the ‘intelligent’ mock? If it is an absolute impossibility for us to observe the evidence, can it ever be truly excluded?

      • Dear George,

        I permitted the last post, but will not permit any more. You are a liar. You are not an atheist.

        Your angry rant did not contain one piece of evidence for the existence of a god. Making the claim that evolution is false is not the same thing as providing evidence that Christianity is true (or that a god exists).

        Evolution is a fact. It has been observed in nature, laboratories and experiments. Your claims about the cell were presented by Michael Behe at Dover vs. Kitzmiller, and your claims were shown to be false. Creationsim and Inetlligent Design lose in court every time because there is no evidence to support the claims.

        “Nothing in Science contradicts the bible” is a false statement. In Genesis, fruit bearing trees exists before the sun, which is not possible. Bats are called a type of bird, when they are mammals. The bible is contradicted by every field of science.

        Most importantly, you are a liar. Do not write back, your angry rants will be trashed.

        Ed

      • I’m curious. Ignoring all that crap that guy said, may I ask your opinion on one intriquing part?

        What if a deity existed that only exists in a higher dimension? If such a being exists, how are we to ever expect observable evidence when we are limited to our 3rd dimension? I’ve never thought about that before…

      • There are many hypothetical and non-hypothetical examples for which we could not oberve. For example, if there are beings outside the known universe, we have no way of observing them. The same goes with beings that existed in whatever existed prior to the initial expansion of the universe. Did beings exist on planets that were destroyed when their star exploded one billion years ago? We have no way of knowing. And there is nothing wrong with that!

        However, we have no evidence that beings existed on a planet near a star that exploded one billion years ago. We have no evidence of beings that existed prior to the initial expansion of the universe. We have no evidence of beings outside the known universe. Until we do have evidence of such beings, we can not honestly claim that such beings exist.

        When there is no evidence, we should say there is no evidence and leave it at that. If evidence for an idea appears years later, then we can present it in scientific journals and look for the answers to the next questions.

  9. I was a christian for over 35 yrs. but then I did my own research into Christianity and now I truly wish I could still believe in god…but I find it difficult to reconcile a lifetime of inherited beliefs with an educated brain.

    I’m a spiritual person… although I’m one without a religion. I saw my prayers answered many times when I was a Christian. I still use this method of meditation to control my focused energy that I send out into the universe simply because prayer is how I was taught to harness that inner power and project it outwardly.

    I do not wish to attempt to destroy anyone’s god, but I do think it is time to educate yourself about all gods and their history…if for no other reason than for you to have a shot at discrediting it … and from then on you will have that knowledge to use in future theological debates or discussions.

    …You might want to look into reading…”The Christ Conspiracy: The Greatest Story Ever Sold”, “Christianity Before Christ”, “The Dark Side of Christian History”, or “Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth.”

    At the very least BEWARE someone selling hope who requires your money while recommending faith instead of offering solid proof.

    Common sense tells you that much…

  10. You, Mr. Hensley, created this page so you decide what can and cannot be posted based on your “about” section. If you being created can do this why cant a Creator exists and do the same. The difference between yourself and the creator is he does not delete your post if they are too long for contain profanity or are just plain old inappropriate. He allows all to have their say. We have free-will to live and believe as we please but as with any parent who practices tough love, own what you believe and be willing to die for it. So, as my Father’s child I say, believe as you will. You have freedom to be an athiest, Hindu, agnostic, Christian (whatever flavor of it you want), Buddist, Muslim, or nothing. It is your choice.

  11. As a survivor of sexual abuse from the time of a small child, having been abused by 5 family members, I don’t have a stable sense of myself, or of the world.

    My abusers were fundamentalist Christians, and it took me years to have my own thoughts and feelings. I went from being a fundamentalist Christian, to liberal Christian, to believing that everyone goes to heaven or a good place, who knows, maybe reincarnation is true etc…. then I watched and saw that people got sick, suffered for no good reason, they didn’t ‘learn’ anything from it, there was no REASON for it, no ‘redemption’…..praying makes no difference in what happens….so now I am an agnostic.

    If you didn’t get what you needed from your parents, you may need to have a sort of ‘imaginary’ power or parent. Actually you yourself are providing that ‘outside source’, much like the imaginary friend a child may have. Unless it turns out that we are all really connected in someway or there is a God or force or something….you never know

    A lot of people believe in things because it fills a need. I don’t think it matters if it is fanciful or like a fairy tale or without any factual basis. It is just what the person needs to get through the day.

    Nothing wrong with that as long as nothing is forced onto anyone else, the belief system is not hurtful, no one tries to invalidate or stop Scientific views or work or tries to invalidate historical facts etc. And if people would just ADMIT, hey, psychologically there is TOO much fear and pain, I need to believe in something in order to have some meaning in my life…no one would have a problem with that, I don’t think….

    After all, if it is really true that this life is all there is, isn’t feeling that we matter and are permanent, or have some permanent effect just our brains fooling us in order to protect us and make us able to function? Absolutely we matter of course…but logically, do we really????

    Now, in 2013, we know that not even the Sky lasts forever (“Dust in the Wind”-Nothing Lasts forever but the Earth and Sky)

    Thanks

    • My parents were fundamentalist Christians who protected my environment and would be horrified at the thought of any child being sexually abused. I enjoyed your post and hope you are able to leave that part of your past behind you.

    • Em Anne… As a fellow survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I admire you for sharing your story. Speaking about it openly is the most difficult and most important step toward recovery. You are not alone, nor are you flawed!! Your comment about reincarnation is interesting here because most Christians are ignorant of the fact that their religion actually endorsed and taught reincarnation, until the middle of the sixth century.

      • Could you provide your sources on teaching reincarnation? I am not doubting, I just want to read for myself.

  12. Sure, Ed! Former Dallas mega-church pastor, Craig M. Lyons, who graduated from the acclaimed Southwest Theological Seminary, eventually gave up preaching. The reason is because his continued studies of Christianity led him to believe that the Christ of the New Testament is nothing more than the 16th (and latest) Sun god, to be worshiped by the masses, throughout history. Lyons does a fabulous job of displaying his 20-plus years of research into what is known as Astrotheology and sun worship, over thousands of years, leading to his very strong conclusion about the Christ story. He writes at length about early Christians, or Chrestians, as they were known and of how they knew the Christ story was originally taught to be only allegorical, until it was literalized by the Roman Church, in order to control the masses, in his opinion. Lyons now runs Bet Emet Ministries, in the DFW area. His website provides a wealth of information that someone motivated like you could devour in a full day’s work. Like your own work, it is impossible to read only a bit. In the midst of his detailed study is where I first came across the information you ask me to cite, above. http://www.jesusastrotheology.com. Btw- as you probably know, Thomas Paine, among others, also claimed that Jesus was just another sun god. So Lyons is far from being alone, in his conclusions. Paine also said the, “paltry and contemptible,” bible should more accurately be called the word of a, “demon,” than the word of God. Strong words from one of our Founding Fathers.

    • Thanks Frank. I will read your source soon. I have read many sources on myths incorporated into Christianity. Many are factual, some contain exaggerations, and some contain falsehoods. For example, numerous ancient figures (real and imaginary), such as Alexander the Great, were claimed to have been born of a virgin. This was a very common theme. Unfortunately some websites exaggerate. Mithra was born of a rock, but some websites claim he was born of a virgin because the rock never had sex with anything. Be skeptical of all sides, especially when dealing with ancient sources.

      • No problem, Ed! I couldn’t agree more with your advice about being, “skeptical of all sides.” Any kind of group think is dangerous and somtimes we jump from one side to the other, if we aren’t careful. Whether we believe in a Creator or not, we must use our reason and question everything we encounter.

      • Ed, another site that talks about original Christianity and reincarnation is http://www.atlanteanconspiracy.com. Click on religion, on the right side bar. I think you will find it interesting to ponder.. and use your reason, as always, to determine truth.


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